Let's just say it hasn't been a very good summer. It's been raining. Lots of rain. So much rain that you might think the air would be free from that sticky and disgusting humidity. This is not the case. The days have been so thick that I haven't had a blow out since early June. My hair has been a wreck and hasn't been out of a bun in 6 weeks. First world problems, I know.
And my husband has been away the past 6 weekends. The first weekend I was away with him and that was lovely. We spent the most dreamy night in Niagra on the lake. It was heaven.
The 2nd weekend he took our daughter away on a special trip to Montreal. They had a blast visiting his candy factory, hanging out at the hot tub, and dining on fondue. I spent those few days with my loving, yet exhausting four year old son.
The following weekend my dad was invited to go on a "business" trip with my DH. Together they drove out to wine country and enjoyed what looked to be a perfect weekend. Wine tours, wine tastings, wine pairings. What could be bad. Brick oven pizzas and sweet homemade desserts. I spent that weekend home with the kids.
As per usual, the next weekend, DH left on his annual canoe trip with his old camp buddies. Months before they plan and plan. What route to take. What menu to serve. I laugh when i hear the list of foods they'll drag on their backs. From Serrano ham to lamb chops, this never reminds me of the canoe trips I used to take. Hot dogs and baked beans seemed more familiar. The kids and i played on.
This week, his weekend started on Thursday morning. He raced to the airport to catch a private plane. Fishing trip. Business. I call it a BOONDOGGLE?! Not sure why fancy fishing trips have now replaced the boardroom business meetings and golf games of yesteryear.
I knew he was safely on his jet, because he sent me two or three texts with JET selfies. Do we call them Jelfies? I'm not sure. I've never flown on a private plane. I also knew he arrived across the country. He posted this on Facebook. Glad i was able to follow along.
Then came the pictures of the red and white checker table cloth complete with lobster dinner. The molten lava cake with the hurricane candle beside it. The shots from the canoe. The pictures of the canoe. The water. The coffee press and the perfectly perfect coffee cups. There was a photo of bean soup. And vegetarian pizza. I'm pretty sure it was spinach and feta. There were other random selfies. From the boat. Or the deck. Or the veranda.
I was happy he was enjoying himself, but i couldn't help but be jealous. Maybe even sad. My sitter had decided to go to France for the month, leaving me alone with the kids. I adore them, but everyone needs a break sometimes. Or a swimming pool. Or a summer house. And to add insult to injury, somewhere along the line I caught a stomach virus.
Life back in my hometown seemed to be going swimmingly. My nephew was getting cuter by the day. Cousins were coming in to visit. Garage sales. Birthday parties. Lots of togetherness, and i was feeling more alone. By the minute.
World news has been pretty chilling this week too. What with the Malaysian air flight going down and all. For some reason, I can't get enough of this story. The horror. The terror. I pray the passengers didn't suffer.
Closer to home a local 7 year old girl was run down very close to my home. By mistake I drove by the memorial last night. With the kids. Tons of flowers and stuffies lined the road. I could barely look. Put things in perspective. That's for sure.
Last night, as my kids were wired and awake well past 11pm, I found myself feeling low. Not so low, that i couldn't tend to them, but the low that makes me nervous. The low that wants to listen to sad music and read books non stop. The low that wants to stay home and hide.
Checking my usual favourite social media sites just seemed to make it worse last night. I felt more lonely. More out of touch. More forgotten. Once again, that gross feeling of seeing your friends out and enjoying in pictures. Not sure why some people feel the need to rub their perfect lives in your face. Especially when i'm not included in the merriment. Total shock to the heart.
I cried a lot and then fell asleep. Both my kids and my iPhone by my side.
I woke up, checked my Instagram. This morning I focused on the beauty and the love, and then found my son wanted to make guacamole, french fries and omelettes. Within 1/2 of an hour, he had created all three dishes. Each one was divine.
Suddenly, I wasn't so weepy anymore. I am totally okay being the one at home with my babies. In true reality, there's no place i'd rather be. xo
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