Sometimes I wonder which kids grow up to be "parking police". Is it something they dream about when they were young? Did they want to become police and couldn't quite make the cut? Or maybe they want to look like police officers, but they're not stable enough to carry weapons?! Do they enjoy the idea of ruining people's days? Maybe they like the uniform? Or riding a bicycle around town? Whatever their motivations are, I'm sorry for them. Truly and utterly sorry.
I can't think of a more useless occupation. I mean seriously. No one likes you. Most people despise you. I hate you. You have hardly any real purpose at all. Most tickets are useless anyway. I totally get it if you're blocking a fire pump or a bus lane. Other than that, tickets are just a silly way to collect money. Sometimes I wonder why the cities don't use your powers (and your biking legs) for good?
So, to the total loser on the roadside cruiser today, Thank you so much for the $60 parking ticket that you wrote as I watched. I figure (and i believe) that you probably have never had a second date with a woman in your life. Our aggressive and rude conversation outside that disgusting sandwich shop aptly named BOAR, was probably the first female interaction you've had all day. All this anger you displayed while I gasped from that large pig head on the sign above. You even threatened me with a second ticket. GET a LIFE.
Don't worry parking agent, I'll get the last laugh. One of these days, you'll be rushing to ticket a hybrid Prius and you'll get knocked over by an 18 wheeler. Until then, carry on. And i hope you do some charitable and meaningful work somewhere else.
