Ugly people breed ugly children. Mean people breed mean kids. Dumb people definitely create dumb offspring. This is a fact. A serious and sad fact. Just ask Malcom Gladwell. He's already done all the research. It's compelling. I highly recommend the read.
What must it be like to walk through life unattractive? How must it feel to never see at head turn at your perfectly blown out hair or your pouty soft pink lips. Must be crushing to never hear the whistle or the catcall of a buff and tan construction worker on the avenue. How did it feel not to get asked to the prom? Or the 8th grade dance. Were you a wall flower as a kid too? I'm going to go with "yes".
Are you so ugly that clocks stand still when you face them? Or do you just not really try to be all that you can be? Once again, I'm not going to judge. That is, until I have to.
So today, I have to. Seriously, I'm going there.
You were actually at school drop off today ladies. I wonder if you had some last minute party prepping to chat about? Or did your nannies call in sick? Perhaps they headed home for a much needed vacation from your bratty family. Yes you were there in the shiny, screaming yoga pants. You were wearing ballet flats, so I knew you were headed for coffee. Never to the gym. Be honest.
You were toting that huge bag on your slumped shoulder. Your little friend has a similar bag. I assume you bought it online. Some cool and hip online store you think you've just discovered. You're wrong.
Your hair was ratty. In need of a shower or a comb. And perhaps a good dye job. You barely looked my way. You were too busy looking for a friend. Feels kind of weird to go to the school play ground, now doesn't it? You're not familiar with the rules, the guidelines, the other mothers. You hardly know from which door your son will run. I'm smiling from ear to ear. You look like a fish out of water.
I give you a smile and a glare and hope that your insides are burning. Burning with the crazy, filthy bile that i know runs through you.
You don't look my way. Why would you. I'm pretty sure you're not sure who I am. And i love this.
So, why the anger? Why the rage? Why the judgement?
I'll give you the reason. You broke the UNWRITTEN RULE. Clearly this is your first child. Obviously you haven't talked to too many moms, or you would have known better. Maybe you didn't have many friends growing up. Pretty confident about that one...
So you understand, I sent all 29 kids in my 4 years old's class a sweet and cute birthday invite last week. My boy will be 4.5 next month and i thought it would be great fun to celebrate.
Within minutes, we received 12 rejections?! Twelve kids actually had no interest in coming to the party of the year? How could that be? Impossible.
So I waited. Tried to make sense of the situation. Suddenly, all the girls in the class replied that they'd be thrilled to join us. Not one boy. Then two moms of boy babes stepped forward and agreed to party with us. But that was it. Just two. Out of a huge class of monsters.
When I received a 14th "no", I emailed that mom right back. What was the "conflict" to which all these moms were referring? Could it be?
Yup. There was a JOINT birthday party being held at the same date, same time. Seriously? And my boy had been ostracized.
That bugged me, but the fact that those lame boys have been taunting my son is horrific. Egregious. They keep telling him that he can't come to THEIR party! I have zero interest in this party, but i find it hard to believe that these two moms made the conscious decision to leave my son off the party list. Seriously, ladies?
For kindergarten, we have rules. Play nice. Share. Smile. Have fun. Don't talk with your mouth full. And when hosting a party, invite either the whole class, all the boys, or all the girls. For a very special party, just invite a select few.
Anyway, we're not going to fight this issue. We don't actually care. One of the boys in question looks like a pug dog. And not a cute pug dog. They're not the sharpest tools in the shed. The mom is a social climber. I don't know her name. I don't care to.
All i know is that there are going to be three very happy and popular boys partying with a class full of adorable little girls next week! And, our pony and our ice cream trucks are booked for sunday! Party on ladies... Party on.
