And
so it was written. He lifted her
spirits better than any drug could ever do. She took to him right away and he was supremely smitten from
the beginning. It was a match made
for sure.
Life
went on. Too quickly one might
note. Boy was growing in leaps and
bounds and walking by age 9 months.
People were amazed. Now
there were two perfect children walking on this earth. The two children were hers and life was
definitely blessed. She was in
heaven and no one could deny it. The
boy was charismatic, funny and charming.
He had so much mommy in him that he was more like a 20 year old than a
20 month old.
He
enjoyed playing, running, jumping, cooking, eating… He was from another
world. The home was happy. Bustling. Smiles everywhere.
Singing all day and night.
Everyone slept well past 9am.
The
weight still carried on. By now
there were about 60 pounds to shed.
It was tougher than before.
She was 5 years older and the pounds were very comfortable where they
were. They were stubborn. One might even say obstinate.
Back
to that Weight Watchers meeting to learn about how to eat. Don’t eat too much bread. Stay away from cheese and pizza. Clearly she could write the book, she
just couldn’t seem to follow the directions. How could she help that she wanted to eat at 2am. Why was it that dim sum and cheese were
still favorites. Was pizza not
really healthy? There was cheese for calcium and tomato sauce for vitamin C, no?
So
the war waged on and it seemed that she wasn’t winning yet. The smiles at home were only turned up
when the kids were involved.
Otherwise, there was unrest.
When are you going to get back to your pre-baby weight he seemed to
plea. Aren’t you happier
skinnier?! Clearly, she wasn’t happy, but was it really the pounds making her upset?
Life
was easier behind her MAC computer.
When she was typing online no one knew her. With that shiny screen in front of her, she still looked
25. Slim and fit, no one truly
knows you online and that was just perfect for her.
In
her head she whispered: Run, run, run from your pain. You may hide it if you stand in the rain. I’m not thinking rational. This kind of thinking is fashionable. Don’t want to walk away, but it’s not
safe to stay. That was the
truth. It wasn’t safe to stay. But where did she have to go?
Then
again, there were the babies.
Mother of two. That was her
new title. It was both the best
and hardest job she ever had.
Thankfully she was great at it.
Cooked, cleaned and entertained those kids. A lot. Sure,
some mornings she lamented the fact that they had to eat yet again, but then
she’d pull it together. Off to the
market for the organics. Milk,
cheese, and fresh produce. Only
her little ones snacked on avocado right from the shell. These kids were healthy. These kids were happy. They weren’t trying to run from the
rain. They were jumping. Right in. And they weren’t even wearing their rain boots.
I’m
not thinking rational. And so it
went. Another day. Another year. Another letter.
Another ex. Live in the
present. Forget about the
past. How can you ever forget when
today is just so darn ugly?
Hmmmm.
But
the music kept playing.
Everyday. Mostly in her
head. Sometime from the
iphone. Running from the life that
she had. Went down to the
ocean to meet the candy man…with all the answers to her problems in his
hand. She doesn’t want to change
her ways. Ever. Why should she? Only happy when she’s high?? It certainly was starting to feel that
way.
